Accepting Self: Life after Receiving an Autism/ADHD Diagnosis

The Weight of Masking and the Freedom of Unmasking

For many neurodivergent folks, masking becomes second nature—a survival strategy in a neurotypical world. Masking is the process of concealing traits, behaviors, or challenges to blend in, often at the expense of authenticity. For me, masking was like wearing an ill-fitting costume: exhausting, uncomfortable, and never quite convincing.

I spent years mimicking social norms, hiding sensory struggles, and forcing myself into roles that felt unnatural. It wasn’t just draining—it was a profound disconnection from my true self. The constant effort to “fit in” often left me questioning my worth and wondering why I couldn’t just be like everyone else.

Unmasking, while terrifying at first, brought immense relief. It allowed me to embrace my quirks, needs, and strengths without shame. I learned that my way of experiencing the world wasn’t wrong—it was simply different. Shedding the mask didn’t mean disregarding growth; it meant pursuing authenticity and allowing myself to be fully seen.

If you’ve been masking, I see you. It’s a heavy burden to carry, but know that unmasking is a gradual, freeing process. With time and support, you can discover the beauty of living as your authentic self.

A New Lens on Life

Getting a diagnosis later in life can stir up a whirlwind of emotions: relief, grief, curiosity, and even fear. For years, I attributed my challenges to personal flaws—why couldn’t I stay organized like others? Why did certain social situations feel so overwhelming? When I learned that my brain is wired differently, it wasn’t just an answer; it was permission to be myself without apology.

The Path to Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t happen overnight. I had to process my diagnosis as a reintroduction to myself. It meant looking at my past through a kinder lens. Those times I felt like I was “too much” or “not enough”? They weren’t failures; they were symptoms of living in a world that wasn’t designed for my neurodiversity.

Acceptance also involved mourning. Mourning the energy I spent masking my true self, trying to fit into spaces that weren’t built for me. Mourning the “what-ifs” of how life might have been different had I known sooner. But as I began to release that weight, I found clarity and empowerment.

Embracing Your Strengths

While our differences can feel like obstacles, they also bring unique gifts. My ADHD gives me creativity and out-of-the-box thinking that fuels my work as a coach and healer. My autism enables me to focus deeply and connect with clients in profound ways. These strengths weren’t always appreciated in traditional settings, but in creating my own path, they became invaluable.

You, too, have strengths waiting to be uncovered. Maybe you’re fiercely empathetic, have a knack for spotting patterns, or bring unparalleled energy to your passions. Once you start viewing your traits as assets instead of deficits, you’ll begin to see your diagnosis not as a limitation, but as an opportunity to thrive in your own way.

Building a Life That Fits

Post-diagnosis, I realized that thriving means creating a life that aligns with who you are—not who the world expects you to be. I left a career that drained me and built a business that embraces my neurodiversity. I prioritized mindfulness and learned to manage sensory overwhelm through breathwork and self-care. I set boundaries and surrounded myself with people who celebrated my quirks instead of tolerating them.

Your journey might look different, but the principles remain the same:

• Listen to Your Needs: Pay attention to what energizes you and what drains you. Adjust your environment and routines to support your well-being.
• Seek Community: Surround yourself with like-minded people who understand and uplift you. You’re not alone, even if it sometimes feels that way.
• Embrace Self-Compassion: Be patient with yourself as you navigate this new chapter. Healing takes time, but every step forward is progress.

Thriving Beyond Diagnosis

For me, the greatest gift of my diagnosis has been the permission to show up fully as myself. I stopped trying to fit into molds that weren’t made for me. I embraced my love for horses, nature, and connecting deeply with others. I became a more present mother to my teenage boys, who also navigate their own neurodivergent journeys.

To anyone newly diagnosed: the road ahead may feel uncertain, but it is also full of possibility. Your diagnosis doesn’t define you; it empowers you to understand yourself and craft a life that truly fits. This isn’t an ending—it’s the beginning of a deeper, more authentic connection with yourself and the world around you.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure of where to start, know that there’s a community here to support you. Whether it’s through coaching, connection, or simply sharing stories, together we can navigate this journey of self-discovery and thrive beyond diagnosis.

Because life after diagnosis isn’t just about surviving—it’s about rediscovering who you were always meant to be.

Empowered to Help Others Thrive

My journey through diagnosis, unmasking, and healing has given me the tools and insight to support others navigating this path. As a coach and healer, I am passionate about empowering individuals to embrace their neurodiversity and create a life that aligns with their true selves.

Through coaching, I help clients:

• Build self-awareness and confidence in their strengths.
• Set realistic goals that honor their unique needs.
• Navigate the challenges of living in a neurotypical world with practical strategies.

In addition, I offer holistic approaches to healing, including breathwork and nervous system regulation. These techniques address the physiological stress often carried by neurodivergent individuals, helping to restore balance and calm.

Whether you’re adjusting to life post-diagnosis, seeking relief from burnout, or simply looking for someone who understands, I’m here to walk alongside you. Together, we can explore the possibilities of a life where you’re no longer surviving but thriving in your own, beautiful way.

This journey isn’t just about overcoming challenges—it’s about rediscovering joy, connection, and the power of being unapologetically you. Let’s build that future together.